Something, nothing, everything

I’m usually saying something in my posts.  For a change, I’m saying nothing.  But even that is filled with a whole lot of everything.

FACT: My November promotion of Dusk and Summer for National Pancreatic Cancer Research Month didn’t go exactly as I had planned.  Why so, you ask?  Well, I didn’t sell a million copies.  To be fair, I’m lucky if a handful sold.  And let me tell you, I am tremendously appreciative of that handful.  But writers are a greedy lot.  We’re always looking for more than what we get.  We won’t admit it.  Well, I think I kinda just did.  My goal in November was to raise awareness of this cruel disease.  And, of course, to honor the memory of my father.  If you’ve taken the time to read my November posts, then I’m confident you’ll find I did both brilliantly.  Hey, I’m not cocky – I’m passionate.  I stripped my soul bare writing that book, and if but one person has been altered by it, if but one person has found hope & inspiration within its pages, and if but one person thought about Dusk and Summer and its meaning long after the book had been put down, well, sure, maybe I didn’t sell a million copies last month…but that knowledge will make me a millionaire.

A quick fyi: proceeds are donated to the Lustgarten Foundation for Pancreatic Cancer Research anytime you purchase Dusk and Summer, but the final tally specifically for November should be in soon.

SELF-OBSERVATION: I more or less exist in the shadows in way of my writing.  I’ve yet to decide whether this is good or bad.  I do not call attention upon myself.  But as a writer, you essentially must in some form.  It’s such a double-edged sword.  Honestly, I don’t enjoy the so-called “spotlight.”  I’m not going to slam sales page links to my books down your throat.  I’m not going to whore myself with never-ending posts to the likes of “I just got a five-star review for blah-blah-blah,” or “I’m ranked 1,358 in Kindle books.”  I don’t need to put myself out on the corner and doubt I ever will.  Just not my style.  “Gaddangit, now just hold on!” you’re screaming at your poor computer screen now (or for you bigger bullies, your smartphone), “I see your rootin’ tootin’ blog posts all over the place, you two-faced sonofabiscuit!”  Well right you are, irate reader of mine, and that is because I’m whoring me, not some meaningless stat.  For those just now acquainted with my blog & for those who’ve followed me awhile, chew on this: I’m a horror writer, and I haven’t posted one damn horror story yet on my blog.  Not even an excerpt from a horror story.  Okay sure, when I first started “twittering” and “facebooking” I put up some dumb posts like “Just finished my second draft of “The Curious Love of Mr. Tweedleton.”  Really?  Like you gave a damn, right?  Like that allowed you a good sleep that night.  I was still learning the ropes, ya know?  Forgive this naive, silly little man.

So maybe I should ask you, dear reader – for fuck’s sake why have you stuck with me?  Well I’ll tell you why:

SELF-OBSERVATION NUMERO TWO-OH: …cause I’m different, and my blog is real.  Okay, so I’m getting ready to whore me again (look, you don’t have to kiss me & I promise you won’t have to spoon me come the morn, so let’s all work through this, hmm?).  I published my first blog post on September 30, 2010, I believe, and let me tell you, I had no freakin’ clue what I was doing.  I had no clue what I was going to say.  Most of the time I still don’t.  I mean, who the hell am I, anyway?  But it goes like this – I write the way I talk, and I want you to see me & my bald head sitting right smack next to you whilst you read (I won’t stare, promise).  Listen, you won’t care if I’ve sent a short story to market.  You won’t care if I’m zombified with writer’s block, & you won’t care if I’m lucky to get two hours a day to write.  But you will care if I suck you into my life by the snap of my fingers, if I share you me and not my foolish stats, and you will care once you realize that I care.

SELF-OBSERVATION NUMERO THREE-OH:  This blog is ultimately for my daughter, a sort of road map for her one day, a means in which to follow the old man’s path.  I want to be something for her, not some Jersey boy with secret stories from a waste management past; not the current owner of a house cleaning business, and not someone who feels so dreadfully unaccomplished right now.  I want to be a somebody for her, so she understands, borrowing shamelessly from John Mayer, that I was always bigger than my body.  I need to accomplish a dream so she can dream grander and accomplish greater.  I pray my Athena will one day be proud of me.  And I hope I’m a someone for her always.

A VERY NICE RECOGNITION:  I was recently presented the Versatile Blogger Award, nominated by T.K. Millin.  All kidding aside, I truly don’t like the proverbial spotlight, but I guess I’m going to step up on stage a moment.  T.K., thank you for bestowing me with this.  You’re a special writer, a special person & have an amazing cat in Efi Loo.  I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to read my posts about my father’s battle against pancreatic cancer.  Now, I think you all should become regulars at T.K.’s blog please:  http://tkmillin.blogspot.com/  Now, upon receiving the Versatile Blogger Award, you must reveal seven facts about yourself…damn you, T.K., you’re killing me.  Alright, drum roll please  http://home.fmh.utl.pt/~al07833/musica/DKIT09FX.WAV

1. I used to kiss my pillow when I was little, thinking it was good practice to eventually smooch a girl.  Needless to say, I’m now a master at pillow-talk ba-da-dum

2. I believed I was Spider-Man.  I still do.  Excuse me…spider sense is tingling…

3. I love oaky, chewy Cabernets, Johnnie Walker Black, Turbo Dog and Purple Haze beers from Abita Brewery down in Louisiana.

4. 16 tattoos and I’m hoping to get my 17th by the end of winter

5. The one horror movie that scared the absolute crap out of my ass?  Blackula.  Yes, Blackula…the black avenger…Dracula‘s soul brother.  Here’s the trailer (don’t blame me if you shit your pants, too; I warned you) Blackula

6. Soppressata, a nice cheese, some good Italian bread, & a bottle of wine.  Have that out for me, my friends, & I am not leaving your home.  For the benefit of my non Paisan friends, a quick education on what soppressata is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soppressata

7. I look at my New Orleans Saints 2009 Super Bowl Champions banner every day and smile.

A VERY NICE RECOGNITION PART TWO: Okay, this is getting crazy.  I was awarded the Liebster Blog Award from Lucinda Rose.  As explained by Lucinda, this award is given out to bloggers currently under 200 followers and who deserve more recognition and encouragement.  Lucinda, poor girl, stumbled upon my blog, & I’d like to think I actually made a good impression.  But seriously, from the bottom of my heart, Lucinda, thank you for your kindness & taking time out of your busy day as an English teacher to read my words.  I encourage you all to camp out and occupy Lucinda‘s blog please: http://rosereads.com/  You’ll discover that Lucinda is a gifted woman with an enormous heart, wonderfully passionate about her priorities in life, & who wears a mean pair of glasses.

Now I’m supposed to pass these awesome awards to some unsuspecting victims, & I will do so in my next blog, but of course I’m going to screw the whole thing up & only nominate each award to one person (as opposed to 15 for the Versatile and 5 for the Liebster).  Come on now, have you ever seen pictures of my mug?  You think I follow rules?  I just wish to really hone in on two deserving bloggers, that’s all (and ultimately that will make my decisions even harder!)

THE DAY THE SUN STOPPED SHINING BLOG TOUR 2011: Starting December 21 and running through December 31, various authors – and their readers – will host a blog tour with an apocalyptic theme.  Fellow author & friend Johanna Pitcairn kindly invited me into the group & I obliged, momentarily dispelling a brain fart as I realized holy bejesus, I’m much to busy with my own projects to partake in this!  And another brain fart realizing holy bejesus, I’ve never been part of a blog tour!  What do I say?  Whatever will I wear?  Well, woe is me, just pipe it down & do it, which, of course, I am.  I’ll be doing it by the seat of my pants, but that’s the way I enjoy my writing anyhoo’s.  So coming soon, I’ll be featuring links to the authors participating.  Hop around – everyone will be offering something different, like giveaways, puppies, etc.  I can’t tell you what I’m giving away yet.  If I did I’d have to kill you, and then you would miss THIS: I mentioned in Self-Observation that I haven’t posted one damn horror story yet on my blog.  (reasoning: I cannot post what I put out to market.)  But that all changes with  THE DAY THE SUN STOPPED SHINING BLOG TOUR.  I conjured a little something just for the tour, & I’m looking forward to your take on it.  And no, it’s not a puppy.  Or a new bike.  Yeesh.

SHUTTING MY BIG FUCKING MOUTH NOW: Well, I think that’s about it.  I hope you’ve looked forward to my blog & that you’ll especially enjoy it in the coming months.  There will be my spin on Mr. Mom posts, of course, & some posts that will continue catching you off guard.  There’ll be poems & songs.  There might be some videos in the works (sssh, dearie, that’s hush-hush for now).  Hell, I might just write some short stories especially for my blog as well.  Above all, I hope you will continue finding inspiration in my work & views.  But I have to warn you…lately I’ve had the feeling that I’ve been a little too nice.  A little too cutsie.  Something inside me has been clawing.  Wanting to be free.

Mr. Mom?  Yes, I will always be Mr. Mom.

But I am a horror author, after all.  😉